How to Ask Someone to Be a Reference? (With Examples)

Learn how to ask someone to be a reference with confidence. Expert tips, proven email templates, and examples to help you secure strong professional references.

Your dream job is just a decision away. You have cleared all the rounds successfully, including the final round, and immense hope and confidence prevail. But this is the stage where many candidates are turned down. Why does that happen?

According to a 2020 survey by CareerBuilder, 69% of employers said they would be less likely to hire a candidate if they didn't check references. Who or what is this reference? Why is it so important? Does lack of reference mean rejection?

Just like you confirm with your fellow mates if the costume looks good on you, the same way the employer confirms your compatibility with the job through the references. This article walks you through every detail of asking someone to be a reference. If you are confused about how to ask and whom to ask, then this article is exactly what you need.

Key Takeaways

  • References are the assurances of your competency and behavior provided by people who have worked with you recently.
  • Employers after successfully assessing you through the interview, finally approach your mentioned references to know about your work history.
  • The correct time to ask someone for a reference is when you are applying or when you are confident about the interview.
  • There are various people you can consider for references. But prioritize professional contacts.
  • Approach them through a phone call, an email, or even in person.
  • Choose the right people who can promise you to give positive feedback as their feedback actually matters in your selection for the job.
  • Keep your references informed about your job status.
  • Don't worry if a reference has given negative feedback. Other positive references will add up to your success.

How References Impact Your Job Search?

References are the driving force behind your selection for the job. The references that you provide, usually in a separate document in modern practice, enable the employer to gain more understanding of your capacities and behavior in the work environment.

The importance of these references and the changes they make in your hiring process are briefly explained below:

  • These references assure the employer about your skills and competency which increases the chances of securing the employer's trust.
  • They give additional details about the credentials and the work history that you have highlighted on your resume.
  • Endorsement by other professionals persuades the employer to shortlist the candidate and consider him or her for the role.
  • The references serve as proof of your achievements.
  • Since they provide more insights into your experiences and workstyle, references lift the chances of getting you shortlisted for further process and prove to be useful in hiring decisions.

When to Ask for a Reference?

When is the right time to ask someone to be a reference? Based on your confidence levels, or your preferences, you can consider soliciting someone for a reference in various scenarios:

Tip iconAt the Time of Application

While submitting your application for the job, you can ask trusted people beforehand so that they will be prepared enough to make a strong reference to the employer.

Tip iconAfter the Interview

If you have successfully cracked the interview and you are confident enough that it is in your favor, prepare references as soon as possible as the employer might request the references anytime after the interview.

Tip iconWhen You Decide to Change Careers

In case you are quitting your current job and shifting to another career, make the right choice for the reference and ask them in advance to ensure it's considered.

Tip iconBefore Applying for Promotions

References simplify the decision process when you are applying for promotions. So, references will enable authorities to take quicker action regarding your promotion.

Whatever the situation is, ensure your references are trustworthy and can provide positive reviews for your growth and development. Inform them in advance so that they can prepare and make themselves a strong reference.

How to Ask for a Reference Politely

It is important to show your courtesy and ethics while approaching a professional or even a personal contact to request a reference because the way you request people pleases them and encourages them to extend a hand in making you successful.

You can request a reference by phone, email, or even in-person. Let us understand the accurate way of requesting in each way:

In-Person Request

In-person requests are considered more beneficial as they allow clear and proper interaction and enhance the understanding between both you and the reference. However, before planning for an in-person request, ask for an appointment in advance and ensure they are free and comfortable to spend time for this purpose.

  • Maintain a professional tone.
  • Find a comfortable and calm place for you to talk.
  • Don't bring up personal matters.
  • Be polite and respectful while asking for a reference.
  • Provide details about the job and the timings of the interview or hiring process.
  • Explain to them why you think they are the right choice.
  • Persuade them into giving positive feedback.

Phone Call Request

Suppose an in-person appointment is off the table, then try contacting the person via phone call. However you reach out, it is a favorable approach to treat them and converse politely. Some tips for a well-received request are given below:

  • Initiate the conversation by wishing them a good day.
  • Provide them with a clear description of the job and clarify the reason you are interested in the particular job.
  • Patiently answer their questions regarding the job.
  • Include the details about the timelines and ask them if they can endorse you.
  • Respect their decision even if it is not supportive and thank them for their time.
  • Express gratitude and end amicably.

Email Request

Not at all times the person will be available for you to contact via phone call or an in-person meeting. In such cases, sending an email is a professional and gentle way of reaching out. It is highly stressed to follow a standard format while writing an email to ask for a reference.

  • Subject line: Use straightforward and clear subject lines to avoid irrelevancy.
  • Greeting: It is a valuable habit to greet others. Especially when writing an email, greeting the reader adds to his or her interest, often termed a salutation.
  • Purpose: Do not lag the content and state your purpose of writing immediately after salutation in order to keep the reader engaged.
  • Details: Provide sufficient and necessary details of the job that you have applied for.
  • Request: Keep your request well-mannered and polite-mannered and assure them to be okay with any of their decision. This makes the other person comfortable to express their thoughts with you.
  • Closing: Show gratitude and close by providing your contact details.

How to Ask Someone to Be a Reference?

Choosing the Right People to Be Your References

When we say references are important, it means that choosing the right people who can provide the reference in your favor is important. Who are these right people?

A right reference is a person who has worked with you recently and for a long, or even who knows you both personally and professionally well. He or she should be able to give positive feedback on you and build one step towards your career. Approach the person only if he or she is trustworthy. The person should vouch for the relevant skills and achievements regarding your current applied job.

Employers are always in quest for professional people. They highly respect and welcome professional gatherings, talks, or discussions. Being told that you should select your reference wisely. He or she must behave professionally and should be aware of your work history and achievements.

You Can Consider Any of the Below:

  • Former boss
  • Colleagues
  • Mentors, teachers
  • Any acquaintances from your social groups like professional networks
  • Clients for whom you have delivered your best outputs

Always think of what not to do rather than what to do alone. So let us try to gain a deeper understanding by going through the red flags that you should look out for before asking someone to be a reference.

Warning iconRed Flags to Avoid When Choosing References

  • Don't prefer any of your friends or family as they show a sense of personal connections.
  • Do not choose someone with whom you have had conflicts in recent times either personally or at the workplace.
  • Only consider references related to the industry.
  • If the person has not worked with you recently, then prioritize other references who have worked with you recently because these people will be more updated with your progress and skills.

Preparing Your References

Choosing and talking to the reference is okay, but how do you prepare them for a more favorable delivery of the feedback? Here are tips:

Tip iconPreparation Tips

  • Provide the reference with the job description so they will prepare to endorse the most relevant skills for the job.
  • Educate them on the company. Tell them about the company's history, goals, and vision.
  • Restate your skills, experiences, and achievements so they will get a clear idea.
  • If you want them to highlight any specific skills, inform them and prepare them with the talk.
  • Narrate your interview experience so they will have a better understanding of the employer's and the company's expectations.
  • Inform the references of the various ways they might be contacted and the questions they will be facing.
  • Educate them about the deadline. They will have to respond to the employer within a specified period. Tell them in advance about this scenario.

Following Up With Your References

Following up means to remain in contact after requesting or confirming someone to be a reference. It includes providing details and confirming the reference's willingness.

When and How to Follow Up After Asking for a Reference

Depending on your situation, you can send a follow-up in various scenarios:

  • After 1-2 weeks: Give time to prepare their response to your request. You can send a follow-up after 1-2 weeks to confirm they received your request and also to remind them of your request and politely ask them to think about it.
  • After submission: After the reference is submitted, you can send a follow-up expressing gratitude for their involvement and support.
  • If there is an approaching deadline: If the deadline is nearer and the reference has not yet responded, you can try sending a follow-up to remind them and request a response.
  • If there are any changes: If any updates are announced regarding the job or if you feel you must inform anything related to the job status, you can send a follow-up.

Timings are explained so now you know when to send a follow-up after asking for a reference.

How do you follow up then?

You will have to follow up carefully since any miscommunication leads to the damage in reputation. Follow the steps given below to properly follow up:

  • Convey your thanks after he or she has agreed to be the reference, then for their support.
  • Keep them informed about the updates and inform them more about the job and your interests.
  • Encourage them to reach out if they have any inquiries or for any more details.
  • Maintain a professional tone throughout the follow-up.
  • Assure them you will be available anytime for their inquiries or doubts.

Keeping Your References Informed About Your Job Search

As already stressed, you have to keep your references informed about the status of your job application. This is so because it allows the references to prepare well and also he or she can understand what is going on and how they should communicate with the employer.

Thank Your Reference After the Job Interview

After the interview, it is a good practice to thank the referee because their assurance and endorsement of your competencies might have added to your selection for the job. So it is that you should be grateful for the references and you can convey your thanks to them through a note or an email.

Sample Thank You Note

Dear [referee's name],

I extend my sincere gratitude for your invaluable support and cooperation. Your valuable feedback and reference will definitely prove to be useful for my further steps.

The interview went smoothly and I am confident of my performance. Presently, I am waiting for the results. I will update you with the information. Once again, thank you for the precious help.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to me for any further details or even regarding anything.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

Maintaining Good Relationships With Your References for the Future

It is not the end with the referee. You ought to continue positive relations with the referees. It is always beneficial to you to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone. And with the referees, you can even benefit in the future. That's why you have to sustain friendly and healthy bonds with your references.

Always show your support and gratitude to them and offer them assistance in various works. This will instill a respectable feeling towards you.

Sample Messages and Email Templates

Still not getting the hang of it? Then, these sample message templates are for you.

To Ask Former Managers, Supervisors, and Employers to Be a Reference

Reach out to these professionals when you are applying and participating in the interviews.

Sample Email

Subject: Request for a reference

Dear [former manager/supervisor's/employer's name],

I hope this message finds you on good terms. I am writing to inform you that I have been actively searching for jobs and have applied to some of them. I have received a shortlisted response from a few of them and will be attending interviews soon.

It is my kind request for you to provide a reference for me as I feel you can provide the best reference for me since we have worked together for such a long and you are closely aware of my skills and abilities. It would be really helpful if you could help me. I am all good with any of your decisions.

My current resume is attached. Kindly let me know your response and feel free to ask me for more details. Thank you for your time.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

To Ask Colleagues and Peers to Be a Reference

It is obvious that we will have both personal and professional relations with our colleagues. So it is not a great deal to put a little sense on informality, but it is very essential to maintain a professional tone throughout.

Sample Email

Subject: Could you provide a reference?

Hey [name],

I hope you are doing well. I was wondering if I could list you as a reference in my new job application for [company's name]. I am interested in doing this job as it suits my vision and ideologies. I thought you would be the right person to ask since we have had a great time working together at [previous company's name].

I always cherish those supportive times we spent at [previous company's name]. Please feel comfortable to give me your opinion on this. I will be waiting for your response. I would be glad to share more information about my application if you are willing.

Thanks for the support and understanding.

Yours,
[Your Name]

To Ask Clients to Be a Reference

There are high chances for building the right impression to the employer if the reference is given by any of your previous clients because many companies work on the client's satisfaction factor.

Sample Email

Subject: Request for a professional reference

Dear [client's name],

I am glad to connect with you again after the completion of many successful projects together. This is to request you to kindly provide a reference for me in my new job application. I am seeking a new role at [company's name] and I have applied for the same. I am confident about my application and if time permits, I will be called for an interview.

Your invaluable feedback about my work will be highly useful for me. I would be more than willing to share more details if required. I will be waiting for your response. Feel free to put your thoughts out. You can consider some of my contributions towards [project's name], [project's name], and [project's name], for more clarification.

Once again, thanks for the time, and looking forward to your response.

Kind regards,
[Your Name]

To Ask Teachers, Coaches, and Professors to Be a Reference

Who knows your capabilities better than you? After you, it mainly goes with your teachers and professors as they will have worked on assessing your performance all the time. So teachers, coaches, and professors are the right persons too, who can give more accurate details about your abilities.

Sample Email

Subject: Request for your endorsement

Good morning, Mr/Ms. [name],

I am excited to share that I am seeking new opportunities at [company's/organization's name]. It would be of great favor if you could provide a reference for me. It is because you have a great idea of my capabilities and visions. I have always been thankful to you for wishing good things for me and I think it's time and I will need your help.

Your guidance and tutorship lifted me to great heights of knowledge and it's time for my knowledge to be recognized. Any response from your side will be understood and respected. And I am always a message or a call away for any more details.

Thank you so much for understanding.

Kind regards,
[Your Name]

How to Ask Mentors to Be a Reference

Mentors play a vital role in guiding and explaining the opportunities and other things to us. They are highly experienced in the specific field. So their reference will even be appreciated and encouraged by the employers.

Sample Email

Subject: Can you provide me with a reference?

Dear [mentor's name],

I am highly driven to ask you to provide a reference for me. It is about a new job that I am willing to do. I have done well in the assessments and they informed the need for references. I feel it would be highly valuable if you could give your insights into my performance and abilities.

The job is at [company's name] and I am interested in [role]. If you are able to help me, you can talk about my relevant skills to the position. I understand and respect your decision.

Thank you for the mentorship and I will be waiting for your response.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

Dealing With Special Situations When Asking for Reference

Time will not always work in our favor. In situations where asking for a reference has been delayed or when the process did not go as expected, you will have to manage asking for a reference still. Lose no chance to build a clearer path to your success!

How to Ask for a Reference If You Haven't Left a Job on Good Terms

Was your quitting from the previous job a sudden incident due to dissonance? Did you leave on bad terms? This might have impacted the relations you have with the members and also doesn't make a good situation for you to seek a reference. So what should you do in this case?

You can still ask for a reference, mentioned that first clear the conflicts that you have with them. This can be possible by sorting out by apologizing or showing your regret. If you still have not made it through how to ask despite the incidents that occurred, we are here to give you an example and tips for the same.

Sample Email

Subject: Request for reference

Dear [former manager's name],

This is to request you to kindly provide a reference for me as part of my new job application. I understand that my departure from the company was in an unsettled state. I deeply regret the incident and I would like to apologize for the same.

This job is highly important to me as it aligns with my vision and motive and working in this role has been my dream for so long. And also I would highly appreciate it if you could help me despite the misunderstandings that we faced. Other than that, I feel that working at [previous company's name] has fostered my development.

Thank you for your kindness and time. Please let me know if you need any further details regarding the company or others.

Yours truly,
[Your Name]

Above is a sample email. Let us understand how to craft emails in this case by splitting the example above.

  • This is to request you to kindly provide a reference for me as part of my new job application. This line suggests that you give the purpose of writing with no delay.
  • I understand that my departure from the company was in an unsettled state. I deeply regret the incident and I would like to apologize for the same. These lines indicate that you must show your regret and the sorrow you have for the unintentional things that have occurred.
  • This job is highly important to me as it aligns with my vision and motive and working in this role has been my dream for so long. These lines demonstrate how crucial this job is for you and why it is important.
  • And also I would highly appreciate it if you could help me despite the misunderstandings that we faced. Other than that, I feel that working at [previous company's name] has fostered my development. These lines show the kind appeal to validation.
  • Thank you for your kindness and time. Please let me know if you need any further details regarding the company or others. At last, you have to express your gratitude and ask them to reach out for further information.

Be prepared for negative responses too.

Asking for a Reference After a Long Gap in Employment

If you are getting back after a long time, then there is a high chance that the other person may deny it. In such cases, it is advised to be honest and gather patience to remind them of all the achievements you have made and the contributions you made towards the success of the company.

Let us explain through an example email:

Sample Email

Subject: Seeking your recommendation

Dear [name],

It is to ask you for help regarding providing a reference for my next job. I am currently applying for a [role] at [company's name]. I understand that there has been a prolonged gap in the work environment.

I hope you understand the reasons that forced me to do so. [If comfortable, you can briefly explain the reason]. I also request you to understand how significant this career is to me and expect you to extend your helping hand by providing a reference in my favor.

Let me know your decision and feel free to open up. Please stay in touch for more details regarding the job. Thank you so much for your patience and support.

Kind regards,
[Your Name]

How to Ask for a Reference When Switching Careers

While switching careers, highlight your transferable skills and explain why you would like to pursue a new job. Let them understand the strength behind your passion and interest in the job.

Here's a sample email for the same:

Sample Email

Subject: Could you provide a reference?

Dear [former manager's name/colleague's name],

I am delighted to inform you that I will be switching my career as I have found a new role that aligns with my passion and interests. I would highly appreciate it if you could help me by giving me a reference of my competency and skills in the domain. I believe you are the right person who can accurately vouch for my skills.

The skills I have developed while working with you are transferable and these skills are the requirement for my new career also. I believe they are enough to show me qualified. I hope your valuable insights will push my career forward.

Kindly inform me of your decision and please don't hesitate to contact me for any details.

Regards,
[Your Name]

Requesting a Reference from a Personal Connection (e.g., friend, family member)

We are sure you'll run out of your professionalism when asking for a reference from a friend or a family member. Because the only thing you remember with them is your "personal bond." AVOID THIS!

You should always sound professional when it comes to your career. Take a look at this sample for more clarity:

Sample Email

Subject: Could you provide a reference?

Dear [family member's name/friend's name],

I hope things are in your favor. I am reaching out to ask you to be a reference for me. I am actively seeking a new job opportunity and applied for them. I have been called for further rounds at [company's name]. I am confident in my preparation. Can I mention you as a reference in the interview?

Your assurance of my capacity will help me crack the job offer. Contact me for more details regarding this. I hope you are comfortable with this. If not, do not hesitate to talk to me as I respect your decision.

Thank you for your support. Feel free to inform me of your opinion.

Yours,
[Your Name]

How to Return the Favor and Offer to Be a Reference in Return

To offer to be a reference to someone in return is a great way to show your gratitude towards them. It is paying the help back. You can offer the favor through an email whose sample is given below.

Tip iconTips for Offering to Return the Favor

  • Highlight the skills that you admire and appreciate the most.
  • Assure them that your help will be there at any time and it is not limited to a period.
  • Tell them that even if they don't require a reference anytime soon, you are ready to help in the future.

Sample Email

Subject: Thank you and offer to return the favor

Dear [name],

Your reference has contributed so much to my selection. It was really useful and I have no words to thank you for it. Thank you for helping me at the right time.

I would love to help you in the future in case you need any references. I admire your [skill name] skills a lot and have always wished to learn them from you. I can be of use to you in the future when you require a reference. Anytime, don't hesitate to approach me.

Once again thanks, and don't forget you have me for any help in the future.

Yours,
[Your Name]

Frequently asked questions

How Many References Should I Have?

The number of references that you should have largely depends on the job demands. Suppose you are:

  • Fresher: then include 2-3 references
  • Standard employee: then 3-5 references
  • Senior officer/employee: 5-7 references
  • Freelancing: 3-4 references

Can I Use a Reference Without Asking First?

No, it is highly not recommended to use a reference without the consent of the person. Because it is generally illegal/ill-mannered to use something of others without their permission. Instead, ask them in advance so that they will get enough time to prepare and also they can feel comfortable to share their willingness/unwillingness to provide the reference. At last, anything forced is not worth it!

What Should I Do If I Can't Find Enough References?

Don't stress much! If you can't find enough references, first search for all possibilities of people who can help you with the references. Reach out as much as you can. Use your friend circle, professional connections, and social media connections.

How Do I List My References on a Resume?

You can follow the following steps while thinking of listing the references on the resume:

  • Only list the references if asked for. Otherwise, just mention "references available upon request."
  • Create a separate document for references. You can call it a reference page.
  • Use the same header as your resume and mention the title as 'references'.
  • The references should be able to provide the references on the skills demanded by the job.

What to Do If a Reference Gives a Negative Review

Firstly, ask only trusted people for references. Don't get tense as one negative is not taking away other positives. To avoid such disturbances, think if you have had any conflicts before reaching out to the person. You can also inform employers about it in advance but indirectly like for instance you can say "I have had many unfavorable situations, but there's a lot of good things I learned from there."

It is also advised to personally have a discussion with the reference and clear any misunderstandings. Don't worry, other references might have added to your chances of selection already.

What to Do If Someone Declines to Be a Reference

If someone refuses to give a reference, you have to deal with it professionally.

  • Despite the refusal, thank them for their consideration and time.
  • Let them know you respect their decision.
  • If it is so pricking, ask them for the reason for their denial, but do not force them to give the reason. Let them understand that it is their comfort to explain the reason.
  • Do not take the situation to heart and move on to search for other references.
  • Be kind and courteous always.